Big life changes, such as divorce, death or even something as beautiful as seeing your children mature and leave home can leave you suffering from the loss of companionship and have you asking yourself, how do I be happy alone?
So many empty hours now feel thrust upon you, everything is your sole responsibility and you've become so use to sharing experiences with others that the idea of having that sharing with only yourself feels both daunting and plain lonely.
But, with a bit of effort and perspective you can and will learn to be content all on your own. Read on to learn how.
Understand Your Own Worth! You're a valuable person, and you don't need any one else's approval for that to be true.
Maybe you're divorced or have lost a friend and this has bought insecurities, but think about it - something about you attracted them in the first place.
Besides that though, the reason you're alone right now is because you choose to be. Don't believe me?
If I said I'd give you a million dollars if you could only find somebody to spend time with - anybody - you'd probably be back within the day to collect your money, complete with photographic evidence of you two spending a day at the movies, or the mall, etc.
It's very easy to find somebody to spend time with, but when you have high standards for the people you allow into your life, you're reaffirming your own value. If they're not right, they're not good enough for you and you're better off alone.
Know You Don't NEED A Partner! Often when people start asking themself 'how do I be happy alone?', it stems from an idea that they aren't complete without a partner.
This ties in with what we said above, but is more directed towards your attitude about how you're perceived by others.
Social acceptance of your relationship status may take a hit in some circles if you remain alone, but the benefit is for you and others.
Firstly, you are free to live your own life without the burden or discomfort of a partner who doesn't fulfill you're needs.
Secondly, you're free to meet some one who enriches your life, and who fulfills you mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
An added benefit is you're fortitude and courage can inspire others to go down your path and remove negative stigmas where they exist.
Stay Sociable! This might sound a bit against the point, but hear me out.
When you are alone, you have no commitments. You have nothing holding you back. You are free to do whatever you want. Seize this opportunity now! Get some friends together and go wild. Nurture your family. Find a group or club in whatever interests you. The social world is your oyster. Cherish this golden time.
Make Plans For The Future And Take Immediate Action! Take some time and decide where you want to go in life. It doesn't have to be amazing. It just has to be there.
When you're with others, it's very easy to conform to their wants, needs and comforts, and it's very easy to fall into the trap of feeling the need for approval before doing anything.
Now you're on your own, you choose your own path. The great thing about this is - once you have direction, it's so much easier to get where you want to be. Don't worry if you don't know EXACTLY where your going, at the very least a direction will lead to towards the area in life you want to be, and you can choose from there.
The important thing here is to take IMMEDIATE action. Don't waste a single moment. Don't wait for 'the right moment' because it's here already, and it's leaving. Take it while you can.
Stay Healthy! (Or Get In Shape)
When alone, it's easy to become lazy, to go for the cheap, unhealthy meals, to skip the gym and to sit in front of the TV all night eating junk.
I'm sure we all aware of the many benefits of exercise and a healthy diet, so let's sum it up with - being healthy changes your body, changes your mind, and all around changes your life - for the better!
Healthy is happy.
Learn Everything You've Ever Wanted To! To me, when some one asks 'how do I be happy alone?", I feel the urge to tell them all the amazing things they can do! Of course we need to first address the issues they're facing, but once they've dealt with that and have the right mindset going... it's just amazing!
Remember, it's all about you now. Do anything you want. Sewing, Archery, learning to fly a plane - anything you want!
You know better what you'd love than I do, but if you're looking for a suggestion, I'd recommend checking out a local Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu School.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is a martial art that utilises various holds and locks (so don't worry about being striked in the face) and is a wonderful and fun way to learn self-defense for men, women and children in a generally friendly and welcoming community, with the option to compete in many tournaments.
Being alone doesn't mean being cut off from the world. The world is still where it's always been. Just now you have the option to take only what you love and leave what you don't.
You're free to surround yourself with who you choose, but you don't need a single person other than yourself for your happiness.
Vaughn Thomas Mottram runs a website for people unsure where to go next in life, as well as for people who simply want the best life has to offer.
Subscribe now for your FREE 'How To Make This Year THE Year' report, as well as the free weekly newsletter which covers a wide variety of topics, beginning with your body and health and how to get started.
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