We seek loving relationships with the hope that we will be happy together. Yet for many the reality of living together is not a smooth path and for most involves a learning curve. I certainly remember the frustration of resolving differences with my husband. Looking back I can see that there were times when I went along with his ideas before I had really sorted out what I thought. Somehow I got caught up in deferring to him in areas where it was not necessary. Establishing a healthy balance takes time and the realization that what ultimately matters the most is that both people are OK but never at the expense of the other.
Here are three essential skill builders for creating healthy relationships:
1. Be somewhat complete
I am using the word "somewhat" because most people keep on changing and growing as life moves on. Yet the ability to see self as separate and complete allows both people to see each other as enhancing life together rather than being the answer to unmet needs. I can now see that I had the need to agree with my husband. When I did it too often I would then become resentful that he got his way. Reality was that I shied away from sharing that I disagreed.
2. See each others as equals
This is where subtle messages can interfere with truly seeing each other as equals. If you were raised in a home where men were more important you have absorbed that message. It will take self-awareness that this was so to begin to change this ingrained message. I am not talking about who earns more money but about accepting each other as equals as human beings.
3. Avoid absolute thinking
Couples get stuck with absolute thinking by using words like always/never, all or nothing etc. These words put the partner on the defensive. If one person insists on seeing the world through absolutes it restricts honest communication and the ability to find solutions.
I have written a kindle e-book on Relationship Success: How to be Happy Together that will give you a rich understanding and skills for creating your happy relationship. I invite you to visit http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BH4XR9O where you can purchase your copy of the book.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kristina_Von_Rosenvinge
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