Should You Stay Married If You're Not Happy? My Advice Based on Experience

Most times, the people who write to me asking for advice on how to save their marriage are on the receiving end of an unhappy spouse's request for a divorce. Or, their spouse has told them they don't love them anymore or aren't happy and both parties are at a loss as to how to reconcile this.

Occasionally, though, I do get emails from the folks who want out. I believe that they are looking for someone to validate this decision for them. Very often, I hear phrases like "I'm unhappy and I just don't think it makes sense to stay in a marriage that no longer works for me," or "Should I stay married for the sake of the kids even if I'm really not happy and can't imagine myself ever not feeling that way?" I'll tell you how I typically address these concerns in the following article.

Are You Sure It's Only The Marriage That Is Making You Unhappy?: I can't tell you how many couples that I have followed over the years who initially absolutely believed that ending their marriage was the sure path to contentment only to find that they were just as miserable divorced. Often, we convince ourselves that if we can just change one thing, one remaining thorn in our sides, that our life will miraculously fall into place.

But, general unhappiness rarely has just one isolated cause. People often make drastic changes in their lives expecting to find the magical answer that is going to fix every single thing in their lives. It often just doesn't work this way. Instead, we often need to change our perceptions, or expectations, our appreciation for the things around us, our level of commitment, and our attitudes to really change our level of happiness and contentment. So, if you're just going to end your marriage without making any other changes in your life, the possibility exists that you may still be unsatisfied even after you've taken this step.

What Does It Take To Be Happy In A Marriage?: I have a lot of conversations and debates with folks who visit my blog about this topic. Many people will initially respond to this question with phrases like "great sex," " a stunning wife," "a successful husband," or list a lot of external things that, although nice, are vulnerable to change.

I have spend a lot of time researching this topic and I firmly believe that although most people don't know it, what really makes them happy in a relationship is feeling uniquely loved, feeling appreciated, feeling heard and respected, and feeling understood. If you have these things in your marriage, then the other things are going to follow without much effort. In other words, if you're in a healthy relationship where you know that your well being is one of your spouse's highest priorities and you know that your spouse knows you and understands you like no one else, still loves you anyway, and goes out of their way to show you this, well then I'd bet that the sex is going to be pretty good and you're going to find this person to be attractive and successful because you're attitude toward them is colored by the way that they treat you and by the way that you feel around them.

What I mean by all of this is that if you can change your marriage back to a place where you are excited, fulfilled, and actively participating in the give and take of a healthy relationship, the happiness that you used to feel is likely going to return. I believe that it's less likely that it's the marriage itself that is making you unhappy. Instead, it's the fact that things have changed and you don't know how to (or don't believe) that they can be changed back.

Changing Your Behaviors, Perceptions, And Patterns In Order To Be Excited About Your Marriage Again: By now, you probably are starting to realize that I firmly believe that changing your level of contentment requires that both parties change what they are doing. Yes, you absolutely deserve to be happy in your marriage. I would never advocate walking through your life or your marriage being discontent and wondering "is this all their is?"

But rather than throwing away your marriage (especially if you have children), doesn't it make more sense to see if you can change things up so that you WILL be happy? So many times, we focus on what we perceive is wrong with our lives and can only see eliminating what displeases as a way to deal with it. But, just cutting it out often isn't the key. We often walk away and are then surprised that we still don't feel any peace.

I often tell people to first try to see if they can attempt to focus on what is right rather than what is wrong. If you're feeling unappreciated by your spouse, ask yourself how much appreciation you've been showing them or consider just being honest with them and asking for what you need. Often, if you model or define the behavior that you want your spouse to start exhibiting, you will begin to get more of what you want in return.

Think back to when you were first dating. How happy were you then and why? My point is that you know that you can be quite fulfilled in this relationship because this was already your reality. But life changed somewhere. More responsibilities and obligations likely clouded what is really important. This happens to everyone. We begin to assume that because we are married and because our spouse knows how busy we are, we can also assume that they know that we would spend more time and put in more effort if we could. The problem is that, though your intentions are good, the time and effort has to be put in for both people to continue to feel appreciated, loved, and understood. Often changing this will lead to a greater level of contentment and connectedness. It's often just a matter of defining where the marriage is unsatisfying and addressing those things one by one until both people are quite happy once again.

There was a time that I thought my marriage was truly at it's end. My husband was extremely unhappy and definitely wanted out. Thankfully, even though I had doubts, I decided to try one last thing and approach it from another angle and this eventually worked. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Cane

How to Make Your Husband Happy - 3 Brilliant Tips to Make and Keep Your Husband Happy!

An unhappy marriage means an unhappy life. After marriage your whole life becomes your husband, the children, and the family as a whole. So when your husband is unhappy, it can have a profound effect on how happy you are. There could be a lot of reasons why your husband is unhappy. However, there also are a lot of ways of how to make your husband happy. These tips were very useful in making my husband happy in my marriage, so you should follow them:

1. Stop bickering, nagging, and criticising him.

This might sound obvious, but we as wives do this a lot without even noticing. Our daily lives are stressful - we as women are emotional and sometimes can't handle all the stress and, unconsciously, begin venting our frustrations on our husbands. This can quickly lead to an unhappy marriage as your husband might start shooting back, leading to serious fights. To make your husband happy, be supportive of him. Don't try to find the bad in everything he does - instead, focus on the good and point out his right actions to him.

2. Make your husband feel appreciated.

During the course of the marriage the constant exposure might make you take your husband for granted, again, without noticing. If he thinks he is no longer special to you, you are responsible for his unhappiness. Fortunately, it's easy to make your husband feel special and appreciated. What I personally did was to, imply "between the lines" that he was the best thing to happen to me, and he compares (and compared) to nothing else that had ever been in my life. When you do this without being too explicit, it is a very good way to make your husband happy again.

3. Improve your marriage by improving the quality of the time you spend with him.

Make it that the time you spend with your husband is a quality one. If you're together a lot of the time but rarely do anything fun or interesting, this will quickly make you two grow weary of the time you spend with each other. If this is the case, cut back on the "poor quality" time you spend. And if this is not the case (you don't see him a lot) then make it so that you do spend time with him, but quality time.

In any case, the amount of time you spend with him is not the most important thing - it's the quality of that time. How to make your husband happy is as easy as spending fun time with him. Alone time with him is great - maybe a dinner out once every two weeks? Cheap dinner - cheap movie - just a walk by somewhere sweet... the things you used to do while you were flirting. Doing these will not only make a husband happy but if you continue doing this, it will keep him happy. And when your marriage is a happy one, so is your life.

When trying to re-ignite the romance, some certain things you can do and say can literally force your spouse to feel the way he or she was when you were flirting. And doing the wrong things might make your spouse even less attracted towards you. If you want to learn how to do the former, I suggest you visit this helpful site and learn how I managed to do this myself.

It doesn't matter how bad the situation is now - even if your spouse has already asked for a divorce. You can get the situation under your control and use certain techniques to make your spouse naturally fall in love with you a second time. You can find out what you need to do by clicking here.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Juliette_Christian

How to Make My Husband Happy - Incredibly Useful Advice In Making Your Marriage A Happy One

If you love your husband, seeing him unhappy makes you unhappy as well. After marriage, you devote your life to your husband, and he is in the center of everything. When he is unhappy, you will wonder what is causing it. If you don't acknowledge the fact that your husband is unhappy, it will only get worse. You are reading this article now on "how to make my husband happy", so I assume you are already consciously aware of the problem, which is very good.

What usually happens in marriages is that the husband and wife lack some alone time in which they can be like how they were while they were flirting. Especially the arrival of children robs you of most of your time as a wife. This can cause your husband to think you are neglecting him and be unhappy. Not that he is holding a grudge for your kids (or you), but he could be missing the time you had together. But this problem can be easily solved by planning things in advance. You can choose a night for each week to go out. Of course, be alone with your husband. You can find someone close to look after the kids. A happy marriage is one where the love and romance is nurtured.

"How to make my husband happy" can also be answered by looking at yourself as a wife. A good marriage tip is to check whether you're venting out on your husband. A wife can easily be buried under the immense combined weight of looking after the kids, keeping the house together, being a wife, career, etc. If you see that you are frustrated by those things, for the sake of a happy marriage, seek help from outside - because you are most probably taking your frustrations out on your husband, and this is making him unhappy. Making your husband happy is what will make your marriage a happy one that lasts forever.

When trying to re-ignite the romance, some certain things you can do and say can literally force your spouse to feel the way he or she was when you were flirting. And doing the wrong things might make your spouse even less attracted towards you. If you want to learn how to do the former, I suggest you visit this helpful site and learn how I managed to do this myself.

It doesn't matter how bad the situation is now - you can get the situation under your control and use certain techniques to make your spouse naturally fall in love with you a second time. You can find out what you need to do by clicking here.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Juliette_Christian

How to Make Your Husband Happy? - 7 Novel Ideas!

For a woman, her lover's value is always more than all the world's treasures. And, when her lover becomes her husband, she opens the floodgates of abundance in the relationship. The happiness explodes through her heart, and she starts loving her husband endlessly.

This is the mere fact! The true beauty of a woman!

But, Alas! These heavenly situations, and her true inner happiness, fade away after some time. Her husband devastates her emotionally and puts her in miserable situations.

Sometimes her husband gets busy in getting someone else's attention, sometimes her husband loses interest in her, sometimes her husband starts taking out flaws in her, and sometimes her husband stops listening to her true feelings.

This unexpected situation ruffles her dreams brutally, and she sheds the tears of hopelessness all day day-to-day.

If you are also in a hopeless situation, and if your husband has lost his interest in you, and if you still want to make your husband happy, then first I deeply appreciate your feelings and your commitment to your relationship.

Your commitment to your relationship, and your powerful desire, will definitely help you to turn all of your future dreams into reality. I literally believe, the level of desire, and commitment, which a woman possesses, can turn any impossible dream into a reality.

And, I respect that!

When a woman comes in a mood of accomplishing something, she accomplishes much more in a year than most people accomplish in their entire life.

I've put together 7 novel ideas for you that have the power to make your husband happy. These novel ideas will not only end the frustration from your relationship, but also give you the best of years of your life.

So, apply these below ideas now, step by step, and fill your relationship with strange delights.

1. Kill the Dead Weights

Dead weights are destructive. They eventually destroy the relationship and inflict serious frustration. They should concern you the most if you want an "Always & Forever" relationship in your life.

What are the dead weights in the relationship?

"Arguments, mistrust, money-matters, comparison game, and bossiness are the dead weights of the relationship."

In fact, they are the double edged swords that kill the soul of love and make your relationship dead.

Think seriously, how much these dead weights are causing you problems? 20 percent? 50 percent? Or, 90 percent?

And, you'll get your answer!

These dead weights set the foundations of every fight. So, eliminate them from your relationship as much as you can... I know it's not easy, but it's not impossible too. Once you minimize their destructive presence, your relationship automatically thrives. You, and your husband, begin to look at the positive side of the relationship.

Now, I know most of you must be thinking that you are not the creator of these dead weights. And, your husband is. If this is the case, then avoid those situations that bring these dead weights into the relationship.

Don't blame him. Don't fight with him. Don't tell him that he's the one who always create problems... This attitude will shower more fuel on the fire.

Instead, focus on other novel ideas. Your this problem will be automatically solved. You, just you, avoid these dead weights as much as you can... This is the best thing you can do.

2. Hug the Certainty

Relationships flourish only on the grounds of certainty. Certainty not only makes the relationship secure forever, but also fire up the flames of love constantly. It injects true love into the hearts of couples and indulge them with the rain of happiness.

Uncertainty in the relationship never let you, and your husband, be genuinely happy. Both of you look at each other with doubtful eyes and question each other's loyalty. Uncertainty compels you to fight, again and again, on small small issues, and one day it turns some small issue into a major dispute.

Moreover, true love never blossoms under the dark clouds of uncertainty.

So, if you want to make your relationship strong, and if you want to make your husband happy, hug the certainty, and hug it well.

Make your husband feel the certainty of the relationship. Make him feel that you both will dance together for a life time. Make him feel that your love will burn brightly forever.

For bringing certainty in your relationship, the best thing you can do is to make future plans with your husband. And, first, make those plans that make your husband happy... This psychological strategy will help you to influence his mind, and emotions, very easily.

After some time, and after bringing him in the mode of acceptance & certainty, you can make as much future plans as you want according to your choices & wishes.

Future planning put a relationship on the grounds of certainty. It's a psychological trick that ends the doubts of the relationship and develops an eternal love.

3. Don't be His Mother

"Care about your life... Brush your hair... Avoid risks... Wash your hands... Tuck your shirt inside your trousers... Get serious about your career... Care about your life... Sleep on time... "

We often hear these types of sentences from women in the relationship. If you are one of those women who use these types of sentences, then please stop using them immediately... You are not acting like his wife. Instead, you are actually acting like his mother. You are destroying your image through your own hands. You are psychologically influencing him to treat you like a mother.

These types of sentences gradually destroy your desirability and end the feelings of love from his heart.

Now I am not saying that your husband doesn't need your guidance, or help, at times. Of course, he needs. But, he needs your help & guidance as a wife, not as a mother. He doesn't want you to treat him like a child.

Instead, he wants you to treat him like a man - a masculine & successful man.

4. Act Like a Desirable Wife

In a relationship, a desirable wife is always in demand. She intrigues the masculine feelings of her husband through her elusive charming qualities. She recharges the feelings of love in his heart and burns the flames of passion in the relationship, again and again.

What's the biggest mistake which wives make in the relationship? Any idea?

Well, the biggest mistake which wives make in the relationship is that, they start acting like his male friends. They believe that similarities make the relationship stronger, and, on the other hand, differences shatter the relationship. And, they start adopting manly hobbies and habits.

This is utterly a wrong belief!

This belief, and this strategy, will never let you become a desirable wife. You'll lose your importance, and you'll lose your value in his eyes too. He'll start neglecting your emotional needs, and eventually treat you with disrespectful behavior.

So, always remember, a female who acts like his male buddies never attracts him.

A man always runs after a desirable lady. And for being a desirable lady,

"You need to stay in touch with your feminine side. You need to stay in touch with your sensuality and warmth. You need to stay in touch with your attractive attitude. And, you need to stay in touch with your supreme confidence."

5. Fulfill His Key Needs

"Food, Sleep, and Sex are the key needs of a man." When you fulfill these key needs of your husband, you secure 90 percent area of your relationship. He doesn't look at any other woman and makes you the center of his attention.

Unfortunately, most of the advices which I often see in magazines, and in the ocean of websites, are utterly useless and fuzzy ideas. Those advices focus on those things that don't create a massive impact over a tough relationship... For example, they compel you to do romantic things, but they don't tell how to set the grounds of the relationship.

If the grounds of the relationship are shaky, the true romance will never blossom.

Have you ever thought why some men are highly romantic in their relationship even after the decades? How those men faced the toughest challenges of their lives successfully? How their everyday is better than their yesterday? And, most importantly, how those men stayed greatly faithful throughout the relationship?

And, the answer is simple: 'Their key needs were fulfilled by their wives."

So, before being romantic with your husband, fulfill his key needs first. This will not only make your husband happy, but also bring the feelings of love in his heart for you.

6. Share Secrets

"Secrets can be shocking, pleasant, and silly."

'Secret Sharing' is a magic recipe that strengthens the bonds of a relationship. It builds trust, love, and loyalty. A happy couple uses this magic recipe in the relationship time and time again and keep the interest level high.

If you want to appear as a perfect companion in the eyes of your husband: Share secrets with him! This will establish the bond of trust and your husband will start trusting you more and more... This strategy will make him feel comfortable in your presence, and he'll also open up his inner feelings in front of you.

Now I am not saying that share those secrets that can damage your relationship. If you feel your husband is likely to respond poorly on some secrets, then don't share them. Share only those secrets which you feel are healthy and good for your relationship.

This magic recipe - 'Secret Sharing' - has two more major benefits.

First, the communication level increases. He starts listening to you, and he starts sharing his day-to-day details with you. And, most importantly, all the conversations happen in the non-judgmental environment.

Second, your private life with your husband becomes mesmerizing. Your husband begins to value his private life with you more than his social life.

7. Improve Default Mode

The default mode of your relationship decides the appetite of your happiness. When the default mode is negative in your relationship, you shed the tears of frustration. On the other hand, When the default mode is positive in your relationship, You relish very special moments of your life.

Notice the default mode of your relationship. How's your everyday life? How do you both spend time? What are your leisure time activities? What's your mode of thinking? What are your hobbies and habits? What are your goals & passions? What are your targets? What do you want to achieve?

Think seriously about these questions. They are always present in our daily life routine. They create our default modes. If you discover that the answers of these questions are mostly negative, or if you are not satisfied with your answers, then do those things that can turn your answers into positive.

When you make the default mode of your relationship positive & happy, your relationship improves. Your husband starts taking interest in the relationship. He feels more happy in your presence and avoid the unnecessary social activities.

A positive and happy default mode has the power to make each and every day of your life beautiful.

Apply These 7 Novel Ideas Now!

My goal is not to make your husband temporarily happy. That's why I have given you those ideas that solve the core problems of the relationship and keep your husband extremely happy forever.

These ideas create a special world for you! You, and your husband, feel the true, inner happiness and connect with each other on a deep emotional level.

So, use these 7 novel ideas now... And, open the floodgates of abundance in your relationship.

Want to learn more from Bill Hamilton? Get '21 Crazy Tips for Creating Attraction' at Bill Hamilton's blog: http://www.beingelite.com

He loves coming up with new ideas and figuring out how to apply them; He also works with individuals, couples, and entrepreneurs to help them accomplish their ambitions. You can read his blog at: http://www.beingelite.com/blog

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bill_A_Hamilton

How to Make My Husband Happy - Helpful Advice For Wives

Discovering how to make my husband happy was the key to saving my marriage. It's difficult whenever a woman reaches a point in her relationship with her husband where she realizes things just aren't the way they used to be. If you find yourself dealing with your husband's changing emotions it can leave you feeling disheartened, rejected and scared. You don't have to give up on your marriage. There are simple things you can do to shift the dynamic in the relationship back to where it was when you two first were married.

The first thing you absolutely must do if you want to make your husband happy is talk to him about what's happening between the two of you. Many men aren't comfortable talking about their feelings and instead will simply tell you that everything is fine and not to worry. If your instinct is telling you that he's hiding what he's truly feeling, get him to open up about it. This obviously has to be done in a very subtle way. You don't want to push him. Instead just let him know that you're concerned about him and the marriage and you are open to hearing what he's feeling. If he senses that you aren't going to get overly emotional or attack him, he'll be more willing to share things with you.

It's so easy to fall into the pattern of criticizing the person you are married to. This may be something you're guilty of with your husband. Instead of focusing on the things that you don't enjoy about him, try and concentrate on the things you love. Make a point each and every day to thank him for the things he does for you. Plan outings that you know are of interest to him and make him feel special again. He'll be touched by your efforts and it will help him see how much he truly means to you.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married women find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their husbands. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now. To learn more about how to transform your marriage so your husband loves and adores you more than he ever has before, visit this helpful site.

Don't spend another day wishing your marriage was different. If you want your husband to treat you differently, make it happen. You can have the deeply connected, fulfilling relationship you've always wanted. Experience what it feels like to have a husband who will do anything and everything for you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gillian_Reynolds

How To Make Your Wife Happy - A Married Woman's Secret Wish List for a Happy Married Life

Introduction:

This summary is to separate the facts from the assumptions and common misconceptions of husbands all over the world.

Common Belief #1: A ring on a woman's finger, makes her secure forever.
Fact:
Contrary to popular belief, marriage doesn't make a woman secure enough not to demand their husband's attention. We are a creature of habit, and women, by nature, seek attention from men, and compete with each other for this kind of attention. It's in our DNA. We see in movies and we hear from conversations, men saying "My girlfriend's always jealous, and demands too much attention, I don't want her to be jealous, so I'm going to marry her, I'm proposing next week". In this example, we see that a man in a serious relationship thinks of marrying his girlfriend, a solution to her insecurity issues. Proposing to your girlfriend may make her elated, and confident for a certain period of time, but it doesn't get rid of her true emotions, that are bound to surface during the marriage, if not properly resolved or addressed.

Common Belief #2: Flowers are for ladies, married women want babies.
Fact:
A woman, though happily married, may still have reservations in having children. Most men think that when a woman says yes, and agrees to get married, she would immediately be ready to have children, and would want to conceive soon. She may show her willingness to have a family, however, men should still confirm if their wives are indeed prepared for pregnancy and giving birth; physically, emotionally and psychologically.

Common Belief #3: When the husband provides, the wife steps aside.
Fact:
Financial security for women, though very important, is not everything a woman needs. A married woman may be more confident, and would trust her husband more if he is a productive member of the society, is successful in his field, and makes enough to give his family a comfortable life, but her husband's financial success is not the sum of all her happiness and contentment in life. A husband's wealth does not secure his wife's constant happiness, faithfulness and full cooperation, it also does not mean she would always be willing to give up her career or a life long dream. This type of decision, almost always has to come from a woman's own will, she decides with her mind and her heart, and women do a lot of thinking.

Being married myself, I shall confess of my secret wishes and desires, for my perceived happy, secure and fulfilling married life.

A Wife's Secret Wish List: Part 1 - Your Wife's Emotions

1. Compliments - Women just can't get enough of hearing flattering comments. Compliment her everyday, with something as simple as "You look beautiful" or "You're a terrific cook" and you put a smile on her face that doesn't easily fade.

2. Flowers - Women, of all age and sort, are fond of beautiful things; and flowers, not only beautiful, but also make us feel special and valued.

3. A warm greeting in the morning - Wives are literally "suckers" for a warm greeting, hug or kiss when we wake up and get ready for the day. If you had a little argument the night before, nothing like a "good morning honey, I love you" can make her forget about it and feel better. You'd want to make her day, and try doing it everyday.

4. Let her win - Speaking of arguments, you may want to consider letting her win in most arguments, by giving in and keeping quiet, women tend to resist agreeing to their "man" in an argument, if they feel they can win it by endless talking. So spare yourself and your wife the agony, and let her win. There are wives who are quick to realize mistakes, but you show them first that you love them and that you are willing to listen to them let them win the argument.

5. Attention - I can't stop emphasizing how important this is to a woman. Give her enough attention, even before it's apparent that she seeks it. You're the best person to give her the kind of attention she needs, to make her feel secure, adequate and needed. Listen to her, look at her and pay attention.

6. Your time - Apart from attention, whenever you're together, you may want to give her your time, and show her how eager you are to spend hours with her, regardless of the occasion and your schedule. Make time for your wife, bear in mind that you're investing on your marriage.

7. Commitment - You don't just commit to marrying her, you commit to her baggage, her priorities, her needs and her dreams. When women say I do, we do it whole heartedly, and we expect the same commitment from our husbands.

8. Romance - So your bachelor days are over, you get hitched and you sleep with the same woman, hopefully, for the rest of your life. If you think this is scary for men, wait 'till you see into a woman's mind, you'll discover that she too, is scared of losing the intensity and intimacy of your relationship, once married. Reassure her by maintaining romance in your married life.

9. Conversations - She wakes you up during the wee hours, excited and/or anxious, do not make the mistake of ignoring her and going back to sleep. During these moments, no matter how tired or sleepy you are, you need to show her that you're OK with talking, and that you're actually open to listen to her. We. wives remember these moments, and our husbands' reactions linger. You can't run out of topics to talk about, and if your wife is the shy and quiet type, initiate the conversation, and reward yourself and your wife this beautiful element in a marriage.

10. Reassurance - So you don't understand your wife's job, hobby or fascination, it doesn't matter if you don't! Whenever she feels low, as the result of disappointments, insecurities or fears, you should always be there for her to give her reassurance and encouragement. You are the person she relies upon, to give her strength and confidence.

11. Help needed - For heaven's sake, your wife is not a robot! She gets tired too, you know. So what if she's a stay at home wife or mom, and you bring home the bacon, she does her share of work, and contributes to the relationship. She helps you by not splurging on senseless expenses, she budgets for your home, and if she's the type, she cleans up after you. By all means, help her with her work and/or chores. If you really can't, find a way to make her work easier, and if you can, more enjoyable.

12. Make her laugh - You work on your jokes and making people at the office and your boss crack up, you should also make it a habit to make your wife laugh. Find out, the soonest you can, about what she thinks is funny, and make her laugh whenever you can. When my husband and I fight, and he's just tired of my nagging, all he does is say something funny, that I can't resist laughing, and I forget about the fight and the issues.

13. Get intense and intimate - Need I say more? Whatever works for you and your wife, let it flow, and show her how passionate you are in making her happy.

14. Support her - Whatever she does, be a friend to her and support her. If she can't it, find a way to stress how much you support her and that she can rely on you for help, and you're the person to back her up no matter what.

15. Thank her - You can never say thank you enough, and if she's tired of hearing you say thank you, you don't want to be like a broken record that keeps playing, you might want to find ways to thank her, without saying those simple words. Rewards, vacations and gifts or tokens of appreciation should do the trick.

A Wife's Secret Wish List: Part 2 - The Fun Stuff

1. Pleasant Surprises - Surprise your wife every once in a while. Sometimes, it just costs you your time, sometimes, it really costs you, but hey, it's your wife we're talking about. Surprise her!

2. Regular baths and a good cologne - You don't want your wife thinking, and later on complaining about how bad you smell, bathe and groom yourself, this habit works wonders for a marriage.

3. Splurge - "Expensive" is relative, if your finances only allow you to take her to a 3 star restaurant on your anniversary, by all means, order her the house special and a bottle of not so cheap wine. When you take her out for shopping, make sure you have enough credit capacity or cash, even, to buy her what she really wants, like those pair of sexy red stilettos, instead of trying to convince her that the brown flats compliment her feet and her great legs more.

4. Make her feel sexy - Despite childbirth, work and household chores, you should find something in her that makes her sexy, if you really can't, work on it and bust your brains if you have to. Tell her about what you think is sexy about her. Also, the red lacy lingerie you saw on the display window, should do the work for you, if you're not big on telling your wife how sexy she is.

5. Compliment her in front of your friends - This trick is quite old, but it's still very effective. When you ask your buddy and his wife to join you for dinner, be open about how pretty she is in that sun dress, how good the chicken your wife cooked, and how smart you think she is for getting a good bargain on the china.

6. Kiss her on the lips - Brush your teeth regularly, especially before you intend to do this. She never gets tired of kissing, so don't just jump on her and do your thing, kiss her!

7. Make her feel wanted and desired - I'll leave this part to your imagination, and your personal preference, my point is, a husband has to make sure that his wife feels wanted and desired.

8. Be adventurous - Explore things you haven't done before, go to places you and your wife have always thought about, but haven't gone before. The element of surprise and excitement should always be present in any marriage.

9. Write her love letters - You can be serious, or fun and playful, doesn't matter, as long as you're spontaneous and sincere. Go ahead and put your thoughts in writing, and let her read about how much you love her.

10. And last, but not the least, Remember! - Remember the dates of very special occasions like her birthday, your anniversary, the first time you met, the first time you kissed, the day you proposed, remember these dates, the memories and circumstances, and do something special or prepare something nice and sweet for your wife while you and your wife reminisce.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Candice_Gopilan

What Does It Take to Be Happy?

Recently I watched a documentary called 'Happy' which was really interesting. And as you may know, happiness is definitely way up there in my areas of interest!

This movie shared the latest research on what and how people become happy and which of those particular people in particular circumstances were happiest.

Being a coach of some twelve (12) years now, the results did not startle me but they did just affirm what I believe to be true from what I've personally seen over the past many years not just in Coaching with clients, but with people I've met from across two countries who come from varying socio economic backgrounds.

Inevitably the results proved that people who had the least financial and material wealth were the happiest, but bearing in mind that the prerequisite to this was that they had strong connections in one way and/or another, wether that be as a result of family, extended family and/or strong connections within the community.

In terms of those people who seemed to 'have it all', the old tale rings true of the more you earn the more you spend and in this case, the more they attained to make them happy, then the more they then needed to make them happier once again.

Certainly those that were happiest had a clear appreciation and gratitude for what they had in their lives and took joy from those everyday events and experiences. As an example these might be such things as: looking forward to seeing their children waiting for them when they arrived home from work; gathering with other community members each day; or looking forward to and spending regular time with their extended families. Whilst this research tells us many things, it seeks to remind us that even in the most trying and impoverished circumstances people can find happiness.

So sometimes being unhappy is like becoming immune to the violence that we see on TV each day. The more you watch violence, often the more oblivious and desensitised you can become to this, sometimes reaching that point when you don't even notice those moments much within a movie anymore. So what does this mean? Well the violence is still there, but we don't notice it... and the things to be happy for in our lives are still there, but we don't notice them anymore.

And what about happiness through acquiring possessions? We can often buy new things, wants and haves for ourselves which can become so routine that we forget how lucky and fortunate we are to even be able to buy these things in our lives. Don't get me wrong, for those who can afford to buy those many luxuries in life you've probably worked hard to be in that position, but it may also be true that compared to our country men and women from other countries, we may have had what is considered to be a dream start to life. Perspective is all I'm saying and asking you to consider these things and have an awareness of these things when you're feeling at your lowest or feeling like things are all going wrong all the time. Because in reality things are probably just going wrong right now for you. And that's a long long way from 'going wrong all the time'.

I often think that happiness in life is about perspective and in fact perspective is in most instances that one key thing that people forget to remember when things are not going so great. Or have the perspective to remember that whilst other things around you might be crumbling, you still have a roof over your head and food on the table. This is about putting yourself in the shoes of other people and realising that things indeed could be worse! Now don't ponder that thought too long however, just take away from it that things could be worse and they aren't! You've all heard about or seen the situations where people have to work in extreme conditions and many children who should be at school have to work to survive. Is this not perspective enough to make us consider that happiness begins at home, with everyday things and not in a state of constantly longing for that which we don't yet have? And in fact it is in your power and ability to begin appreciating what you do have right now. And is it not inspiring to learn that if you begin doing this today, you will draw towards you more of those same great experiences?

We have much to be happy for in our everyday lives and certainly in the world that most of us live in. It does not matter what your situation, I'm sure you can find something to be grateful or happy for even if only momentarily. In fact one of the easiest ways to begin generating more happiness in your life is to start watching something funny each day. This is particularly useful if you feel you really can't find anything in your life to be happy about. Just by watching funny videos or reading funny jokes, you will increase the happiness you feel in your mind and body each day and you may be surprised at how much this opens you up to more happy experiences in the world around you as your week progresses. If you leave your home smiling, I guarantee you that someone is going to see your own smile and smile too and you've just started an entire domino effect in your town or city for sharing a smile. It's like a ripple effect and who knows how many people that one smile of yours is going to affect the world around you today.

You just might be on the receiving end of one of those smiling ripple effects today yourself that someone else started! So smile, think of something to be happy for or make up a movie or picture in your mind of something that would make you extremely happy.

Now the research from the documentary, Happy, showed that the influence of various aspects of happiness for individuals can be broken down into these three (3) components:

• 50% can be attributed to the genetics of happiness
• 10% attributed to material wealth and a
• Whopping 40% can be attributed to individual choices we make

There was a caption I read some time ago that made me pause and think and it was:

"I cried because I had no shoes... but then I met a man who had no feet"

So I ask you, what will you choose to spend your 40% of choice thinking about or doing today that will contribute to greater happiness for you tomorrow..

For some super Professional Personal & Mind Development Tools as well as Top Tips for Living Life, come and visit us at http://www.thesexybastardseries.com. See you there!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Justine_Antoinette

How to Be Happy By Following Dream Therapy

A realistic happiness is a possible and achievable happiness based on positive life conditions. A realistic happiness in a crazy world is based on the elimination of illusions and lies.

You cannot be happy without organizing your life based on wisdom. You also have to correct the mistakes of the world, besides organizing your personal life. Organization is indispensable in all matters.

When you learn how to translate the meaning of your dreams according to the scientific method of dream interpretation you understand the unconscious guidance. The unconscious mind is in fact God's mind. God is as wise and saintly as described by all religions of the world. This means that you can trust the information you have in dreams. The divine unconscious mind shows you the truth.

Many times you won't be able to understand the truth from the beginning, but you can trust the divine guidance. The unconscious mind helps you solve your psychological problems and stop making mistakes. Your dreams help you have another image of your reality. You understand the real intentions of those who are around you. You understand how to organize your behavior and your life.

You also understand your own absurd tendencies, and why you make mistakes. After understanding your mistakes and changing your behavior, you stop believing in illusions. You are able to read people's minds, predict the future, and clearly understand hidden conspiracies against you or other attempts to mislead you in case you are in such position.

The divine unconscious mind helps you find happiness after eliminating what is negative from your brain and psyche, and from your life. Your happiness is based on the development of your human conscience. You follow the positive destiny traced for you because you fight the absurdity you have inherited. You learn how to become a wise and sensitive human being.

At this point, you understand the real meaning of many important details in your life. You are able to understand when other people are controlled by their anti-conscience and you know how to protect yourself from their absurdity.

You don't believe in false words. You are able to see what exists behind the camouflage of hypocrisy and falsity.

You are also able to find real friends and identify people you can trust. The divine unconscious mind also helps you find your perfect match, while helping you transform your personality. You learn how to find the right person for you based on the characteristics of your human conscience, and not based on the absurd desires of your anti-conscience.

This is why dream therapy is a process of psychological transformation that helps you find your soul mate.

Many people cannot believe that there is a special person who is the ideal one for them. However, Carl Jung already proved to the world many years ago that everyone can find their perfect match when they follow the guidance of the unconscious mind in their dreams.

Your perfect match is not an illusion. You can find your perfect match, even if you are not young. This is a realistic and proven truth. After transforming your personality you will be able to understand how to find the right person for you in your daily life.

An illusion is to believe that you can be happy if you'll have many different partners and you'll be desired by many. Only your perfect match can help you find the happiness you desire. This happiness is based on real love and this is why it lasts forever.

When you translate the meaning of your dreams you can understand what is good or bad. You are able to understand what is essential and how to always act with wisdom.

You have informative dreams that show you the psychological condition of those who are around you, especially if they are mentally ill. The unconscious mind gives you clear information about other people, the same way you have information about your own psychological problems and about the person you love in your dreams.

The unconscious generosity couldn't be recognized by the materialistic and atheistic world because nobody could understand the meaning of the symbolic dream language, besides a few civilizations in the entire history of humanity. Carl Jung was a genius who managed to discover the symbolic meaning of the dream images and the psychotherapy of the unconscious mind.

He understood that the unconscious mind was God's mind, but he didn't understand his real position as a sinner, and the real dimension of his discovery. My work completes Jung's work, showing to the world the real importance of God's existence and the importance of the fact that God sends us messages in dreams.

Now that I could simplify the complicated method of dream interpretation discovered by Carl Jung everyone can easily understand God's words in their dreams. This is a surprising advantage that is changing the tragic destiny of humanity.

The divine wisdom can helps us eliminate what is negative from our brain, our psyche, our lives, and our world.

This means that by following the divine guidance in your dreams you learn how to eliminate what is bad and become a superior person. You gradually become a better person as you eliminate your wild tendencies and you become a sensitive, calm, patient, humble, friendly, and generous human being.

Your happiness is based on your transformation into a perfect human being who understands the real meaning of life, who pays attention to all details, and who is able to understand what is really essential without wasting time with what is superficial.

Christina Sponias continued Carl Jung's research into the human psyche, discovering the cure for all mental illnesses, and simplifying the scientific method of dream interpretation that teaches you how to exactly translate the meaning of your dreams, so that you can find health, wisdom and happiness.
Learn more at: http://www.scientificdreaminterpretation.com

Click Here to download a Free Sample of the eBook Dream Interpretation as a Science (86 pages!).

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christina_Sponias

Do This, Be Happy

Being happy is good for our health and our business. Since my work life is equally divided between health and business coaching, I recognize in people the correlation between the state of their minds and their success in their bodies and with their businesses. Hence my writing about happiness in both arenas.

1. When you hear someone describe something about herself in an arena in which you have no personal desire, but it makes her happy, jump on her happy train and be happy for her. Let's say that someone lost twenty pounds and was thrilled. Even if you don't personally need or want to lose any weight, you can experience someone's happiness by proxy. Imagine that someone else's happiness is contagious. By feeling her happiness, you can experience more for yourself.


2. When you hear someone describe something about himself that matches a desire that you have, even if that person achieved one of your dreams, be happy knowing that what you want is an achievable desire. Let's say that you know someone who achieved a new rank in her network marketing business. Let's say that you want to be able to achieve that same rank. That someone was able to manifest this rank level puts it in the air as something that can actually occur. It would be smart of you to celebrate this person's happiness because her accomplishment makes yours more real. "Rank advancement happens". Manage any jealousy or negative self-talk. Switch your focus to thoughts and feelings that get you in touch with your dream to be able to advance. Be happy knowing that this is now more possible for you.


3. If something happens and you are not pleased with it, take a few moments to ask yourself what is perfect about this. Recently my husband and I were going to go to Chicago, and then we did not go. I was very disappointed. I asked myself what was perfect about this. I discovered that by staying in town I was able to go water skiing twice, have a fantastic evening with some friends who came over for dinner, and help some other friends move. I was so pleased with this discovery! When you do this, you can always come back to (fill in the blank) disappointment, anger, sadness... But you might feel better and choose to remain happy.

For more information and to receive any of Rosie Bank's special reports and her free newsletters, please visit http://www.rosiebank.com. To have Rosie speak to a group of entrepreneurs, college students, network marketers, and business owners, you can contact her at rosie@manifestingvision.com
If you are seeking reliable leadership and a strong network marketing organization, feel free to contact Rosie directly, 650-573-7177
Rosie is the author of six books on health and business. Visit http://www.rosiebank.com/store

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rosie_Bank